First everything

Hey Meme,

I’ve been avoiding this. I’ve written a lot of things on my remarkable tablet, and one day I’ll learn to upload that here.

Everyone is starting to miss you a lot. I catch Lily crying sometimes, but she won’t talk about it. I tell her it will make her feel better to talk about it, but she says, “I don’t work that way.” Wonder where she got that!

I feel a little crazy for noticing all the firsts without you.
Since you died, I had..

a first Valentine’s
a first breakup
a first snow
first doctor’s visits
Lily’s first spring break

…without you.

I felt guilty getting life insurance money from you. I would trade it all to have you for longer. Thanks for paying off my debts though. That’s pretty fucking awesome.

Your memorial was amazing. We rented the perfect space and decorated with Mardis Gras stuff. Bee made the perfect flower arrangements. The balloon arch was excessive and stressful, but I felt like you deserved it. Over 100 people came, and the event organizer was comically stressed about how much everything would cost and kept saying, “These guests drink more than we could have ever predicted!”

I gave Crystal one of your rings, because I felt like it would mean a lot to her, and I know you’d liked that.