Damn you Adam Sandler

Hey Meme,

I'd be interested to hear every story you ever had about what an asshole I was as a teenager. I would give anything to laugh with you about how you wouldn't allow me to wear guy-pants, so we agreed Hot Topic was an acceptable compromise. That led to a fan favorite: army green pants with long chains attached to the legs. What an Edward’s Scissor Era for me. I had a calico Mia Farrow hairstyle and wore lots of braclets at one time. I can't stress how many bracelets.

I was embarrassing, but you never made me feel embarrassing.

Lily has taken up wearing baggy clothes, coloring on her converse, and being called “Leo.” I want to offer her that peace and delusional confidence you gave me. I want to find the line you found. I could explore the universe, but I was always tethered to the ground.

I suppose the worst thing that could happen is that she becomes a social pariah and gets excessively depressed. You once threatened to dye my hair blonde if I didn't stop being so morose. I suppose you weren't successful at keeping me off the edge long term.

I only know how to love my daughter. I don't know how to make her less anxious, less sad, nor tell her who she is inside. I want you to be here for the hard stuff. I want you to meet Leo too.