What’s next

I’m here in lower Alabama with Tarri.

I see you in her eyes. I find it difficult; triggering. I love her so much, but she is a product of you. I asked her, and she feels the same about me. I look more and more like you. I see it too.

I realized for a while I rejected happiness. I didn’t want to be happy without you. It felt wrong. It was insulting to the significance of the loss to be anything but shattered.

I know (I always knew) you want a happy ending for all of us. I’m working on it. I’m working on figuring out who I was, who I am, who I want to be.